Life has definitely thrown a curve ball at the world recently. Just when we think we have one thing figured out, something else pops up that leaves us wondering how to possibly cope. Everything that we have known has been interrupted by this recent COVID-19 pandemic; our support systems, our routine, our jobs, our leisure activities, and even our ability to attend spiritual services. People are struggling; it is scary, it makes us anxious, it leaves us immobilized at times. The fear of the unknown can leave us very uncertain about our future and what is to come. But for people who have experienced the grief process these thoughts and feelings may not be new. When we lose a loved one we may feel very uncertain, scared, anxious, immobilized. After our loved one passes we are left with the chore of trying to figure out our new life, new routine, new supports, new coping skills, and the new us.
Recently I have struggled too; I miss my normal routine, I miss my extended family, I miss my friends, and I miss my freedom. I find myself grasping to understand situations that are out of my control and grieving in a totally new way. Just when I thought that I could not possibly handle any more this week I had a friend ask me a simple question…So, what can you control?
Such a simple question, but it was so important for me to hear this. What do I still have control over? I DO have control over how I react to my thoughts and feelings. I can allow these feelings to be present and acknowledge them and I can use my coping skills to help me get through. I DO have control over my routine; it may not be the routine that I am used to but I have the ability to set a new routine and make it happen. And possibly the most important thing, I DO have control over my own self-care. I have a responsibility to make myself important and it is ok to do this. I have the ability to use coping skills, practice relaxation, engage in leisure activities, and take care of my physical and emotional health.
So for today, I will make a goal to focus on what I still have control over. I will accept that I do not have to like or be comfortable with every situation but I will try my hardest to make positive statements to myself and use the skills that I know I have. Tomorrow may be different…but I will tackle tomorrow when it gets here!
Journey of Grief: Online Support Group
The journey of grief can be difficult and emotional. Although this is a process that we are sometimes forced to work through we do not have to take this journey alone. This online group, sponsored by Pike County Hospice, is intended to provide resources and support to all of those that are preparing to begin this journey, currently going through the journey of grief, and those that have experienced this journey in the past. Through support and sharing we can navigate this journey together. Please find us on Facebook and begin to experience the love and support that we all need.